Driving Myself Nuts
At this writing, I have under my belt more than two months of commuting to Northfield, and about ten days left before my commute turns from a 50/60-minute slog each way to a 5/10 minute bike ride. Not that I'm counting the days or anything. One semi-benefit of having done this commute is a greater awareness of things motor-vehicular. Viz.:
- Kicking the snow turds out of your wheel wells is great fun.
- Minnesotans are terrible at merging with traffic. Really, we should be ashamed.
- Booking along I-35, I routinely see vehicles coming to a full stop at the end of an on-ramp, right when they should be accelerating up to freeway speed.
- Conversely, I also routinely see morons continue to barrel along in the right lane even when they could easily move left into unoccupied space and let entering traffic use the right lane. About the only drivers you see who do move left as a matter of course are truckers.
- Cornfields are fantastic scenery in summer, fall, and especially winter. The stubble poking up through the snow is a wonderful sight. The combines rumbling linearly along are pretty cool, too.
- By and large, two-lane highways in open country (say, Dakota County 23 between Apple Valley and Northfield) make for easier and more pleasant driving than freeways (say, I-35 between of Burnsville and exit 69).
- NPR is critical for maintaining sanity whilst driving.
- Passing on the right is a plague upon America (as the Right is, generally). It's unfortunately common on the freeway, when lollygaggers in the left lane force you to sneak around the right side. It's also dangerously common on two-lane roads, where more than once I have had some idiot exploit a wide shoulder or even the suggestion of a distant right-turn lane to edge up on me and even to gun his (always his) way through. To the ditch with you, sir!
- Cars are, even in the best circumstances, bad places to spend time by yourself. They simultaneously demand full mental and physical attention and repel that attention, sending the mind out on bizarre reveries like my five-minute ponder upon the topic of why "gas" is called "gas" when it's actually a liquid. I mean, please: someone save me from my brain.
- Use your goddamn turn signal, dumbass. Jeez.
3 Comments:
Hey Chris,
As part of my job, I have to drive a company truck often. I greatly enjoy your comments and would just like to give you my own list:
1. Sweeping snow off my car has become a zen moment for me. It's like unwraping a new present everytime it snows.
2. Merging blows. ACCELERATION LANES ARE FOR ACCELERATING TO THE SPEED OF TRAFFIC, MORONS!
3. As most of my driving occurs in the city, I don't get to see cornfields. However, seeing smoke patterns from different stacks make for pleasing sights, if I can just ignore the pollution thoughts.
4. Anytime cruse control can be set, I know I am in the beautiful country.
5. 99.5 classical radio by NPR is the best.
6. I wish people would use the lanes like they are meant to be used, FAST:far left lane, HIGHWAY SPEED: middle lane, SLOW: right lane. Enough said.
7. Some of my best art ideas have come while behind the wheel.
8. TURNSIGNAL! Can't agree more.
I have to disagree with you about the merits of cornfields, which I think are godawful ugly in any season, but otherwise you're right on. ESPECIALLY about the merging and the passing. It's heartbreaking to go on road trips and enjoy the relative knowledgeability of drivers in other states, only to be hit with the complete ignorance of MN drivers as soon as you cross the state line.
I laughed and laughed as one of those "oblivious to all" mergers cruised down the ramp and was unaware of everything on the main road until my trucks shadow overtook her whereupon she got so frightened thinking that the end of the world was near that she slammed on her brakes and came to a near complete stop even though I was at that time far from her in the left lane. It is hard to believe that some drivers can be so far off in whatever land they are in that a shadow scares them to a stop.
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