Tassimo!

Who the hell died and let this happen? A single-shot espresso maker called the Tassimo? I wish I had a veto to exercise. On the other hand, it's amusing to substitute my surname at various points in this copy:

TASSIMO is not just another coffee maker. It's a whole new way to prepare a variety of delicious hot drinks perfectly, in the comfort of your own home. And it's so simple.
With the TASSIMO machine and the TASSIMO Discs (T-DISCS) you can make the hot drink you want, when you want it. No fuss. No bother.
It's truly amazing. The same machine that makes a real espresso and freshly brewed filter coffee from some of your favorite U.S. and European brands, also makes real milk-based latte & cappuccino, cafe crema, tea, hot chocolate - something for everyone. Each cup is freshly brewed to celebrate its true character and gives you the taste you love, every time.