Biking on two inflated tires? BORING!
Have you ever come out of the office at the end of the day to discover that your bike's rear tire had flatted during the day?
Wasn't it a pain in the butt - literally! - to ride home?
Well, worry no more.
For less than a hundred dollars - that's only 25 gallons of gas! - enroll in "CJ's Flat-Tire Camp" to learn the fun skill of riding on one - or even TWO - flat tires! You'll learn all this - and more!
- How to curse like a sailor when you first see the flat - and for long minutes afterwards!
- How to lock your face in a grim look of annoyance for the whole ride home!
- How to tune out the "thwap-thwap-thwap" of the tire as you roll sloooooowly along!
- How to compensate for that steady pull to the right - or is it the left?
- How to stare straight ahead when passersby look over at your noisy, puttering self!
- How to slow down even when your brakes hit squished rubber long before they reach the rims! (HINT: Underbrush is your friend!)
- How to unclip in the clumsiest possible way every time you near a corner - just in case!
- How to do the simple arithmetic needed to determine how much more slowly you're riding - 50%? 75%? 100%? Even more?
- How to stop worrying and learn to love the pain in your coccyx!
Others might charge $200, $300, or even $500 for the in-depth instruction you'll get at "CJ's Flat-Tire Camp," but your experienced instructor is asking just $99.99* for this experience of a lifetime!
What You Need to Succeed at the Camp
- a Ben Franklin (or the equivalent in euros)
- a bike with two tires (inflated tires will be expertly deflated by your instructor using his patented "Awl-In" technique)
- a bike helmet
- a well-stocked first-aid kit and/or extra-large bottle painkillers
eight hours of time
What are you waiting for? You can't afford not to attend! Register fr "CJ's Flat-Tire Camp" today!
* Cost does not include lunch, water, first-aid supplies, painkillers, ice, spare tubes and tires, or sympathy. Also, keep your lawyers out of this.