Convenience Store, Defined

Waiting to buy some water and soda at the Holiday Station Store here in Iron Mountain (city motto: "Our water makes calcium supplements superfluous!"), I saw the best-ever display of clearance items: a dozen encheapened 3-packs of Durex "Warming Pleasure" condoms and six boxes of 12-gauge shotgun shells, marked down from $12.99 to $8.99.

Forecast: Significant blowing and drifting, with the possibility of heavy accumulation in rural areas.