Sleep deprivation and visiting parents have cut into my blogging time and energy, but here's a sop to the masses, following the Snarky Squab's lead.
Things that will be banned:
1. The use of the adjective "emotional," as in "an emotional season finale" or "an emotional speech."
2. All line extensions: no more new kinds of Coke!
3. Roadside billboards.
4. Jacked-up pseudo-monster trucks with poor mufflers and those silly devices that make them roar when the engines rev. (These are the rural equivalent of "vehicles with insanely loud bass speakers.")
5. Ideologues who favor argument before compromise, war before diplomacy, the workings of a supposed market before those of democratic politics, and more freeways before more mass transit.
Things that will be mandated:
1. Good, smooth bike trails everywhere.
2. Cheap, decent mineral water.
3. 6-hour workdays; 4-day workweeks.
4. Public self-abnegation and repentance by all millionaires.
5. 75% cuts to the Pentagon budget and subsequent investments of the savings in social programs.
Things that will be banned:
1. The use of the adjective "emotional," as in "an emotional season finale" or "an emotional speech."
2. All line extensions: no more new kinds of Coke!
3. Roadside billboards.
4. Jacked-up pseudo-monster trucks with poor mufflers and those silly devices that make them roar when the engines rev. (These are the rural equivalent of "vehicles with insanely loud bass speakers.")
5. Ideologues who favor argument before compromise, war before diplomacy, the workings of a supposed market before those of democratic politics, and more freeways before more mass transit.
Things that will be mandated:
1. Good, smooth bike trails everywhere.
2. Cheap, decent mineral water.
3. 6-hour workdays; 4-day workweeks.
4. Public self-abnegation and repentance by all millionaires.
5. 75% cuts to the Pentagon budget and subsequent investments of the savings in social programs.