This evening, like many, made me think the Egyptians were drunk off their hieroglyphics when they domesticated the cat. I saw several big, black, jumpy crickets in our house tonight, but did the cat mercilessly pursue and dispatch them? No. Instead, she played George W. Bush to their Osama bin Laden. Compelled to act unilaterally, I discovered that each cricket crunched nauseatingly when it underwent its extraordinary rendition in a sheet of Bounty.

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