Lessons I Have Learned from Jason Bourne

Having the other night finished my last-to-first screenings of the three Jason Bourne movies - UltimatumSupremacyIdentity (in the order I watched them) - I can report a few of the things I've learned by watching. My list shouldn't be confused with big old lists like this one)

  • Hide your cash under the actual drawers, not in them.
  • Anything can be broken open with your shoulder (doors), feet (window), or elbows (car windows).
  • Passports can be easily hidden behind framed pictures.
  • Nothing sends a chillier chill up someone's spine than revealing that you're right then watching them from a hidden vantage point. "You look tired."
  • You can successfully conclude any fight or chase by spinning things - your opponent, a weapon, a car - around a few times.
  • Anything you really need to know can be found via Google.
  • It's easy to blow up a house: just break the main gas line, then stuff a magazine down the toaster.

Forecast: Significant blowing and drifting, with the possibility of heavy accumulation in rural areas.