Blowing & Drifting

Forecast: Significant blowing and drifting, with the possibility of heavy accumulation in rural areas.

Trike Rage

With luck and some more practice, Julia will have more success as a three-year-old trike rider than she did as a two-year-old. If not, maybe by the time she turns four she'll be able to read and appreciate this from McSweeney's:

A Side-By-Side Comparison of Johnnie Wilson's Brand-New Big Wheel and My Hand-Me-Down Red Tricycle

Johnnie Wilson's brand-new Big Wheel, with its chopper-style front end, offset handlebars, and low-rider seat, makes for a recliner-style look that says "cool" but also allows for power-pedaling through the full natural range of leg extension at the knee.

The position of the stamped-steel seat high on the backbone of my hand-me-down red tricycle forces the knee to remain positioned at 90 (+/– 5) degrees. This requires the largest bone in the body, the femur, and the largest muscle in the body, the gluteus maximus... to overcome the mechanical disadvantage of the leg's piano-hammer configuration. My hand-me-down red tricycle conveniently places the handlebars directly over the pedals. This allows for repeated knee-banging on the bottom of the handlebars or an awkward 45-degree outward slant of the shinbones while the knees remain at 90 (+/– 5) degrees. This Sophie's Choice of toddler transportation puts my hand-me-down red tricycle on the American Pediatric Surgeons Society's list of toys to avoid, just ahead of the backyard trampoline and lawn darts.