Patiently

Part I: The Model Patient

Every time I visit a hospital for any period of time, I'm reminded that hospitals are the opposite of fun. But if you have to go, make sure you're there with a brave, cheerful kid like Julia. Though she said "I don't want to have my surgery!" a number of times this morning (in the four hours she was awake before the actual procedure at 8:15 a.m.), she handled everything with great aplomb. When the nurse gave her an oral sedative as part of the pre-op routine, she quickly got very loopy and floppy, saying all kinds of crazy stuff which she, her mom, and I all found hilarious. A few minutes after that, she squinted at the nurse down at the foot of the bed, then slurred gravely, "Why does that lady have two heads?"


When the procedure was done, she did cry a bit as she came out of the general anesthesia, but then again, everybody does (even, in certain cases, parents). Half an hour later, after her second tiny can of apple juice and a few minutes of Sesame Street, she started singing, groggier than a sailor on shore leave, "La la la la la la la la, Elmo's surgery/La la la la la la la la, Elmo's surgery/They had to take him/To a room/That's Ellllllllllmo's surrrrrrrrrrrrgery!" What a kid.


Part II: Indulgent Adult Stuff

1. Hospitals are (and I'd suppose have been) remarkable case studies in labeling. Looking around Julia's second recovery room, I counted forty-some bins, boxes, drawers, gadgets, spots, devices, et cetera which had some kind of label - the object's name, its content, its purpose, a caution, user information, whatever. The desktop of the recovery room's PC had nothing on it except ten lines of information about the computer itself: operating system, physical location, brand and model names, IP address, etc. I kept wondering just who makes all these labels: nursing trainees? interns? a new Medtronic robot?


2. I would love to be able to operate all the sinks in our house with foot pedals. Handy!


3. Boy, if ever there's a time and a place for an iPhone, it's hospital waiting rooms. I could readily have done most of a full day's work from any of the several holding pens in which we were confined.


Forecast: Significant blowing and drifting, with the possibility of heavy accumulation in rural areas.