Some of the choicer things my eldest has said to me in the last few days;
On asking whether I could do the yoga "child's pose" and seeing that I couldn't: "Daddy, that makes no sense."
On being asked why she couldn't help clean up the mess in her room: "Daddy, I'm just over here doin' stuff."
On laying down a row of Duplo blocks, telling me that they were the wood floor of a house, and then having me ask whether they were painted green or if the wood was green to start: "Daddy, don't pretend."
In telling a story about talking to her mom: "She told me to, and I was like, ''No.'"
She's three-and-a-half, not 13.