Use the interwebs to throw shoes at the president:
Category: miscellany
Christmost
That was quite a holiday. Both girls were up before six, giving us the first real taste of a too-excited-to-sleep Christmas morning. This made for a long morning, to say the least, but at least the girls had a good supply of toys with which to occupy themselves. I broke the monotony by doing my now-traditional (i.e., two years in a row) Christmas Day run – all the way to North Dakota!
Beyond their awareness of today being Christmas, the girls didn’t even know the half of it: the real trove of presents was saved until the afternoon. Both girls reveled in another stack of presents, and both received at least one toy that was, as Julia said (unwittingly embodying toy-marketers’ dreams), “Just what I wanted!” No, not another Bible toy. Better – princesses.
The Bible toy went to Genevieve, and she loved it. I gotta say, it was pretty cute when she named all the animals and retold the Deluge story in her own little way.
As the girls played, the grownups did away with the vast amounts of packaging. Sickeningly, we filled a 15-cubic-foot box with wrapping paper, boxes, inserts, and god knows what else. I spent a good ten minutes undoing all the %#)&#%& wires that fixed Vivi’s ark into its box. While she played with the ark, I hooked all the wire segments together and then measured the resulting super-wire. Here is that 16 feet of wire, coiled up for the trash. What fraction of the world’s steel is tied up in this crap?
Sun Dog
As far as I know, I had never seen a sun dog until Monday morning, when the sky over Northfield was illuminated by a towering specimen that lasted for a good four hours. Here’s what it looked like from the front steps of my office building:
Turns out sun dogs are as fascinating as they are beautiful. From the Wikipedia entry:
A sun dog or sundog (scientific name parhelion, plural parhelia, for “beside the sun”) is… an atmospheric optical phenomenon primarily associated with the reflection or refraction of sunlight by small ice crystals making up cirrus or cirrostratus clouds. Often, two sun dogs can be seen (one on each side of the sun) simultaneously.
According to the article, sun dogs played a strange role in the rule of the famed Swedish king Gustav Vasa.
Beyond all that, I was pleased to hear from Julia that, on Monday, her preschool teachers interrupted their usual classroom routines to do a little lesson on the parhelia, which the kids could clearly see through the windows. (Julia confidently repeated their explanation, which, come to think, sounds an awful lot like Wikipedia’s…)
The GOP’s Genes
The end of the campaign has meant that I’m blogging a lot less on politics, but this article by Neal Gabler in the L.A. Times is worth passing along, both for its cogent historical analysis of the GOP’s recent history and for its insights into the current civil war within the party between the right-wingers and the righter-wingers:
The creation myth of modern conservatism usually begins with Barry Goldwater, the Arizona senator who was the party’s presidential standard-bearer in 1964 and who, even though he lost in one of the biggest landslides in American electoral history, nevertheless wrested the party from its Eastern establishment wing. Then, Richard Nixon co-opted conservatism, talking like a conservative while governing like a moderate, and drawing the opprobrium of true believers. But Ronald Reagan embraced it wholeheartedly, becoming the patron saint of conservatism and making it the dominant ideology in the country. George W. Bush picked up Reagan’s fallen standard and “conservatized” government even more thoroughly than Reagan had, cheering conservatives until his presidency came crashing down around him. That’s how the story goes.
But there is another rendition of the story of modern conservatism, one that doesn’t begin with Goldwater and doesn’t celebrate his libertarian orientation. It is a less heroic story, and one that may go a much longer way toward really explaining the Republican Party’s past electoral fortunes and its future. In this tale, the real father of modern Republicanism is Sen. Joe McCarthy, and the line doesn’t run from Goldwater to Reagan to George W. Bush; it runs from McCarthy to Nixon to Bush and possibly now to Sarah Palin. It centralizes what one might call the McCarthy gene, something deep in the DNA of the Republican Party that determines how Republicans run for office, and because it is genetic, it isn’t likely to be expunged any time soon.
Big Sox on Campus
Today was perhaps my finest hour as a Carleton employee: I won the grand prize in the Outrageous Sox Contest held each year during the College’s December writing workshop. In past years, I haven’t even had outrageous and/or hideous holiday sox of my own to enter into the contest. This year, my attempts to buy my own sox failed miserably: nobody makes ugly holiday sox for guys with size-12 feet.
So I took matters into my own hands – or feet, as was the case = – by fashioning holiday sox from the regular dress socks I happened to be wearing today and, crucially, six foot-long pieces of “evergreen bough” from our fake Christmas tree. The result was both ridiculous and ugly, but in the Outrageous Sox Contest, that’s just what you need:
(Please ignore the dark mush-splatter marks acquired on the bike ride home.)
In presenting my sox for the consideration of the sole judge, the estimable dean of the college, and the entertainment of the assembled audience, I mentioned some salient features of the hosiery: reusable, perfectly sustainable, flexible enough to be used with any pair of sox, and so forth. It worked, and I placed first in the “Holiday Sox” category.
For my efforts, I won a rather sharp winter-themed travel mug. Not bad for a day’s work.
Yule Fools
Friday and Saturday – colds be damned – the Tassavas put up their (artificial) Christmas tree. Over dinner on Friday, Shannon and I told the girls that I was going to put up the tree that night, and that we would then put on the ornaments on Saturday afternoon. We tried to explain the difference between “real” trees like the one we went out to buy in a snowstorm last year and the “fake” one we’d put up this year, but it was obvious the distinction made no difference.
After everyone was off to bed, I brought the tree box in from the garage, turned on an idiotic college football game, poured myself some bourbon, and set to work. Putting the tree together was a faster and easier process than I remembered, and I finished long before my too-late-to-work deadline.
When I brought Vivi downstairs on Saturday morning, she looked over at the bare green tree and exclaimed, “What is that?” – which comes out as “WoddiDAT!” She was interested in my explanation, but not interested in going over and investigating. When, an hour later, Julia came downstairs and saw the tree, she said, “Daddy, you did get a real tree!” I told her that no, it was artificial, but she went over and touched it and said, “No, it is real!” Talking to her, I realized that she thought I was going to put up a big picture of a tree – not an actual thing in the living room. Any 3-D tree is a real tree, at least to Julia. And that’s fine with me.
Later that day, after the requisite run to the hardware store for lights to replace the ones that were no longer working, the girls and Shannon had a blast putting on the ornaments, which took roughly half as long to do as it had taken me to put the tree up. Vivi and Julia steadfastly ignored our instructions to put each ornament on its own branch:
But after a little editing by the parents, we got that tree looking pretty good. Here’s the decorating crew admiring their work
and here is the work itself
Fa la la la la! I feel ever so slightly less Grinchy already.
Ski Skid
I skied around the “backyard”* for an hour this afternoon, having a grand time and feeling like I was actually doing some decent work. After about half an hour, I was deep in the zone when I heard a weird mechanical shriek. I looked up to see a rusty blue Acura Integra fishtailing as it came toward me down the road, then twisting itself into a long sideways skid that ended, thankfully, with a sudden stop in the middle of the road. Just about when I realized I’d stopped skiing to watch, the driver nonchalantly straightened out and went on his merry way.
* I put “backyard” in quotes because we share a few acres of green space with everyone else in our townhouse association, and this space is both like and unlike a real backyard.
Jesus Is the Wheezing for the Season
Julia’s fascination with the nativity story has profoundly screwed up wrought numerous long-term changes to our family’s imaginative universe. As I write this, for instance, the playroom is cluttered with 43 different partially- and fully-rendered nativity scene drawings, probably 90% done by Julia, 8% by me (for Julia), and 2% by Genevieve. Julia is adding new pictures right now, at the rate of about one every five minutes. Of course, she’s not actually “Julia” right now: she’s Mary, and I’m Joseph, and Genevieve is, of course, Jesus.
A feet away, Jesus/Genevieve is playing with our Playmobil nativity-scene toy; its sibling, the Little People set, is decorating the windowsill. While she plays, she’s wheezing and coughing from her cold, which emerged last night around 10. So far, she’s still letting me wipe her nose without a fight, but only if I ask, “Jesus, can I wipe your nose?”
Thank God for Memes
They save me from having to think up with something to write today. I have to go put up the Christmas tree now. (Thanks to Margaret for this one.)
1. Five names you go by
a) Christopher
b) “Chris”
c) Daddy
d) “Tass” (high school friends only)
e) Babe (spouse only)
2. Three things you are wearing right now:
a) jeans
b) zip-up fleece sweater (favorite winter clothing)
c) two pairs of socks
3. Two things you want very badly at the moment:
a) Someone else to put up the Christmas tree.
b) 16″ of nice lake-effect-type snow.
4. Three people whom I would like to see fill this out:
a) Shannon
b) Maybe Elise?
c) Brendon, mostly because it would be a great window into the Crazy
5. Two things you did last night (Thursday, 12/4):
a) attended Winter Walk
b) blogged about attending Winter Walk
6. Two things you ate today:
a) a strong Americano
b) a stale Twix bar
7. Two people you last talked to on the phone:
a) a program officer at scientific-research foundation
b) a program officer at a private charitable foundation
8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
a) help the girls and Shannon put ornaments on the tree
b) go for a run
9. Two longest car rides:
a) Upper Michigan to the Black Hills (900 miles – about 13 hours, 30 minutes)
b) Moorhead, Minnesota, to Hancock, Michigan (466 miles – about 10 hours, 22 minutes)
10. Two of your favorite beverages:
a) mineral water
b) black coffee
AND ANOTHER:
Pick a color for the things that you have done. Mine are in red letters.
I have…
1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightning at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Skied a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Ridden an elephant
Bad Coffee
I have to drink my morning coffee – a double americano, black – from a plain white mug this morning because my favorite mug broke was broken was discovered to have broken yesterday. It was only a year old, and barely lived past the campaign it mocked.
I’d pour out this today’s first cuppa in mourning (“for all my shattered homies”), but I need it too much.
Tryptophantastic
That there was a good holiday.
We had, as Shannon reported, a serious Thanksgiving repast which went off without a hitch, despite Shannon’s anxiety over “never having done this before.” With a bit of help from the rest of us, Shannon did a fantastic job orchestrating the turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberries, gravy, and pie (not to mention the centerpiece), which we hit pretty hard both on Thanksgiving and again tonight. While Julia, as usual, enjoyed everything, Vivi was especially impressed by the cranberries, which she’d have eaten by the gallon if we’d let her, and by the pumpkin-pie cheesecake, which she variously called “bie,” “dake,” and “deet” (“treat”).
Amidst all this noshing, we, solo and in duets, trios, and quartets, took advantage of the unseasonably warm weather to go to the playground each day, to clean the garage, to haul ridiculous quantities of stuff to the resale shop and the recycling bins, to watch “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving,” to run some errands downtown – which was bustling with shoppers and numerous vehicles hauling Christmas trees (!) – and to go for a nice run. So warm was it that I wore shorts and skipped both a hat and gloves. Last year, I skied on December 1. I hope that’s the case again this year. I need the exercise to burn off these giant meals.
Whether or not it snows in the next 72 hours, thank god it’s only Friday. I need two days to rest up.
Thanks
Big and small things for which I’m giving thanks this year:
- Shannon, who takes care of everything and everyone
- Julia and Genevieve, who are 98.5% wonderful daughters and 1.5% exceptional inducements to personal growth
- the health and happiness of the four of us in my immediate family
- my extended family, near and far
- the ways I’ve been able to connect and reconnect with all kinds of friends through the web
- my interesting job, my excellent coworkers, my hardworking colleagues, and my great employer
- my paychecks, which cover all the “musts,” many of the “shoulds,” and some of the “wants”
- the imminence of winter, snow, and skiing
- the cross-country skiing World Cup
- the president-elect and his administration
- my sense of real hope for the future
Short Week Accomplishments
An update of my update on the progress toward my four five big goals for the week, as announced here and here:
1. Reduce my email inbox at work to fewer than five messages.
completed: I reduced the inbox to zero messages as of 12:14 p.m. on Wednesday.
2. Reduce my email inbox at home to fewer than five messages.
completed: I reduced the inbox to five messages as of right now; each of the remaining messages is a tough nut to crack.
3. Finish some key research tasks I haven’t had time to complete at work.
incomplete: I only did one of my ten or so such tasks, but it was the hardest one. And I’ll have a lot of time in December to do the rest, ending the year on a good note.
4. Cut my ridiculous 60-some Firefox tabs down to less than 10.
completed: I got down to six (including dedicated tabs for my work email and the Carleton homepage) as of 12:14 p.m. on Wednesday. Unsurprisingly enough, the pared-back Firefox app dramatically sped up.
5. Clean up and clear off my desk.
completed, as far as I can:
before (ugh)
after (not perfect, but better)
After Breakfast
These days, both girls vault right into their favorite activities after breakfast. This morning, Julia dug out a Sesame Street coloring book and markers and got to work on a picture of Bert sitting on a chair and playing a flute. Her attention to detail is so extreme now that she pores over each picture before starting to color and asks me about every stray line. In this morning’s selection, the artist had sloppily drawn the creases in Bert’s pants so that the lines extended beyond his pants onto the chair. Julia considered this, then said, “I’m just going to say that’s part of the chair. A decoration.” Make it so!
Next to her, Vivi was busy with her favorite puzzle, a map of the world with pictures of sixteen landmarks on it. Vivi calls this puzzle “Non-e-um” – her pronounciation of “Colosseum,” a picture of which appears on the map. She knows the names of several other landmarks on the map, too: “Mashu Pishu” (Machu Picchu), “Pard-a-non,” (Parthenon), “Dit-en Itza” (Chichen Itza), “Ayn-er Wat” (Angkor Wat), and the “mow-eye” (the moai statues on Easter Island). You can’t trick her, either. When I hold up the puzzle piece showing the Great Pyramids and say, “Look! Chichen Itza!” she smiles indulgently and says, “No, Daddy. Dat Dit-en Itza!”
Modest Goals
This morning, I used Twitter and Facebook to announce four world-shaking goals for the short holiday week. Here’s the update. Please, sit down before reading what follows – it’s riveting stuff.
1. Reduce my email inbox at work to fewer than five messages.
– pending new messages, mostly completed: cut from 22 messages at 8 a.m. to 4 at 4:30 p.m.
2. Reduce my email inbox at home to fewer than five messages.
– pending new messages, incomplete: cut from 26 messages at 6:30 a.m. to 10 at 9:55 p.m.
3. Clean up and clear off my desk.
– halfway completed: lots of papers and random junk either filed correctly or recycled; lots of harder-to-handle stuff to do on Tuesday and Wednesday
4. Finish some key research tasks I haven’t had time to complete at work.
-mostly incomplete: one task mostly finished, a half-dozen still to go
Things are looking up, though: I have a lot of unscheduled time on Tuesday and Wednesday. If only I can just keep away from the coffee bar…