As I walked into the Muni tonight to get some beer (it’s Monday! we can buy beer again!), I distinctly heard a customer at the counter tell the clerk, “So went out there and there like five hundred vanities there!” I wondered “WTF?” and went about my business, trying at the same time to eavesdrop on the other customer’s business.
“When we went down to Florida, I hoped we would see one vanity, but that was just so many vanities!” I wondered if this woman was some sort of Menards/Home Depot nut, traveling the country to visit the bathroom-furnishing sections of home-improvement stores.
I selected my libation and walked up front, catching the end of her conversation and realizing for the zillionth time that my ears had let me down slash provided good entertainment: “It was amazing to see all those manatees! Like a herd of cows in the ocean!”
I was closing my register at the grocery store I worked at in high school. The register tape was running and making a bit of noise.
A customer walks up and asks if we have jabo beans. Poor thing, I just know she means garbanzo beans but doesn’t know how to pronounce it. “Aisle 3, half way down” I answer helpfully.
“No,” she says “Do you have any jabo beans?”
I state again “Yes, Aisle 3, about half way down on your left, bottom shelf”
My register tape quits running and the noise level drops just enough that I hear her frustrated question clearly. “No, do you have any JOB OPENINGS?!”