The Secret Life of My Unhealthy Self

On Saturday, I received a call from my pharmacy about a prescription that I hadn’t picked up. The pharmacist told me all about the drug, which I don’t remember being prescribed to me and which would treat a problem I don’t have. (Bronchial congestion: get your mind out of the gutter.) Then today my clinic called to “remind” me about my appointment on Friday – an appointment that I don’t have on my calendar and that doesn’t show up in our online patient-care system.

I think I’m trapped in a very boring, very low-budget early Christopher Nolan movie in which my alter ego has a bad cough. I think real life is actually more exciting.

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