Today was perhaps my finest hour as a Carleton employee: I won the grand prize in the Outrageous Sox Contest held each year during the College’s December writing workshop. In past years, I haven’t even had outrageous and/or hideous holiday sox of my own to enter into the contest. This year, my attempts to buy my own sox failed miserably: nobody makes ugly holiday sox for guys with size-12 feet.
So I took matters into my own hands – or feet, as was the case = – by fashioning holiday sox from the regular dress socks I happened to be wearing today and, crucially, six foot-long pieces of “evergreen bough” from our fake Christmas tree. The result was both ridiculous and ugly, but in the Outrageous Sox Contest, that’s just what you need:
(Please ignore the dark mush-splatter marks acquired on the bike ride home.)
In presenting my sox for the consideration of the sole judge, the estimable dean of the college, and the entertainment of the assembled audience, I mentioned some salient features of the hosiery: reusable, perfectly sustainable, flexible enough to be used with any pair of sox, and so forth. It worked, and I placed first in the “Holiday Sox” category.
For my efforts, I won a rather sharp winter-themed travel mug. Not bad for a day’s work.
Those that would trade their dignity for a sharp winter-themed travel mug deserve neither!
Aww, you’re just sore because you have to ride bikes in the slush for hours to get your race-entry fee back. 60 seconds of brainstorming, 60 seconds of work, and 60 seconds of minor public humiliation, and I had myself a new mug.